Today I’m feeling like writing in English. Actually not today exactly… The thing is that when I thought about this post, I wanted to write it in English. So I’m sorry if you don’t understand it, just ignore it ok? And if you understand it quite well, ignore my mistakes, this subject is too complex for my vocabulary =D
These days have been doing great for me.. I just realized a lot of things and stopped believing in others things that were keeping me down. Amazing. I made some very important decisions regarding friendship. No, I’m not talking about those things we do when we are young and believe everything is perfect. Actually what I did sounds a little bit like that movie, Into The Wild,(SPOILER ALERT) except for the part of the death and blablabla…
Anyway, basically what I did is change. I remember when I was like 12 and I used to think that my life sucked and that I would never be happy and stuff… And I really wanted to change, but I just couldn’t. I would act differently for a couple of days and then I would forget that I wanted to be someone else. Now it happened in a amazing way. First I’ve changed, then I realized that it’s just what I wanted to do! And so far I’m still acting differently. It could be just a phase, but I’m pretty sure that I know where this change comes from. And it’s something that it’s not in my power to control. So… it feels like I don’t know what can happen from now on. I can be someone else tomorrow and it’s kinda scary!
But I like to know I still have the capacity to be someone different in some aspects. And the most important thing is that all that crap about love and fairy tales finally disappeared from my mind. I feel like I’m a grown up now, at least mentally. People don’t fool me anymore, not as easily as it used to be. And I don’t care about them easily as well. In fact, I’m a little bad now, like there is this anger inside me that wants to be released. And that part I don’t like, but eventually I will learn how to deal with that. And, luckily, it won’t be too late… but either way, I’m prepared for bad things. I’m not afraid of dying anymore.
Crazy talk huh? Just what I needed. Thank You, see you next time, in Portuguese!